Proving time and again that funny doesn't have to be blue.

Wanna laugh? Book Certified Speaking Professional, Frank King. His corporate comedy is clean, clever and customized to your group, industry or event. In addition to doing straight standup comedy, Frank also does impersonations of Bill Clinton and John McCain and is a professional auctioneer, certified to conduct auctions in Spanish and English.

Frank was a quarter-finalist on Star Search...he lost to a puppet. He's also appeared on An Evening at the Improv, Showtime's Comedy Club Network and CNN's Business Unusual. He's opened up for, among others, Jeff Foxworthy, Adam Sandler, Pauli Shore (but if you tell anyone I'll kill you), Dana Carvey, Kevin Pollock, Jerry Seinfeld, The Beach Boys (or at least, what's left of 'em), Neil Sedaka (world's worst toupee), Mary Wilson and The Fifth Dimension. In addition to telling jokes, he's been busy selling jokes. He's written for Jay Leno, Joan Rivers and Dennis Miller.

Here's what will not happen, if you book Frank King:

• You will not get a "checkup, from the neck up" (and if I hear anybody utter that phrase again, I think I may throw-up).
• You will not "Awaken the Giant Within" (trust me, nobody, giants included, are any help to anyone until after their second cup of coffee).
• You will not learn any of "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People" (one of which, and I'm guessing here, is overusing the word paradigm).
• Nor will you: think outside the box, break the secret code of accomplishment, fly with eagles even though you work with turkeys, or be empowered (whatever that means) in any way.

• You'll laugh and you'll learn.

Whether he's...

• Portraying Bill Clinton or John McCain
• Roasting the high and mighty in a fun and gentle manner
• Delivering one of his hilarious keynote speeches: Either "Making a Living, Not a Difference" which is just comedy, no content, or "Get Up Off Your Aspirations," which is motivational/comedy, or "Lube, Oil, and Valve Job," which is wellness/comedy, or "You Gotta Find The Funny," which is humor to relieve stress/comedy
• Acting as a comic master of ceremonies keeping the event fun, moving, and on time
• Posing as a corporate imposter, sounding like he knows exactly what he's talking about, but of course, has no earthly idea
• Or serving as a funny facilitator (a humorous host and MC) from the opening general session to the final meal, handling all the housekeeping announcements and speaker introductions (regaling the attendees with his funny take on things he's observed while hanging out with them), and then capping the event with his uproariously funny after-dinner speech...

...he's sure to make you and the entire entertainment committee look good. He's the best thing to happen to after-dinner, since dessert.